Good Vibes Only: The Rise of Toxic Positivity
What is Toxic Positivity?
The ‘Good Vibes Only’ mantra has become a popular statement over the past few years. The ‘good vibes only’ approach to life has been popularised through social media and you have probably spotted it on notebooks, mugs, and clothing. Although a simple statement, it has given way to a more sinister problem; Toxic positivity.
Toxic Positivity holds a belief system that no matter what life presents you should always maintain a ‘positive’ mindset. It rejects difficult emotions in favour of a ‘cheerful’ only approach. Society teaches us to always be happy. TV, films and even Youtubers, all talk about focusing on the positive and eventually obstacles will be overcome essentially, and if you don’t you are not doing it well enough. Is this right though? Research has shown that forcing happiness consistently over a period of time can even lead to an increase in health concerns. According to Zapf (2006) who conducted a study on a group of customer support workers who were forced to be ‘positive’ in work showed an increased heart rate which is a clear indicator of a higher psychological workload. If we consider the example of losing your job. Toxic Positivity would encourage you not to be sad but to ‘stay positive’ or ‘look on the bright side. We may be reaching for optimism at that moment, however, by avoiding and shutting down appropriate emotions, such as sadness or even anger, we can create a boomerang effect that demands that we continue to keep these emotions at bay as they remain unprocessed. Toxic Positivity denies people the space to glean support to cope with what they are facing.
Why is Toxic Positivity Harmful?
Toxic Positivity can be harmful because it blocks genuine human emotions and the ability to glean support in times of crisis. People are then left feeling dismissed, ignored or invalidated. The ‘good vibes only’ approach shames people for feeling or can cause guilt that they even felt an unpleasant emotion in the first place. Emotions help us to understand the world around us and naturally motivate us toward the resources we need. Anger helps to tell us that a boundary or value is being crossed, fear helps to protect us from danger, sadness motivates us to connect with those we love and even disgust helps us to reject what might be unhealthy for us
How to help yourself avoid Toxic Positivity
If you recognise these statements from yourself or even your loved ones it is important to learn some skills to help support yourself.
Photo Credit: @theemotionalhealthcoach
Photo Credit: @theemotionalhealthcoach
Swap Toxic Positivity for Emotional Regulation
Take time to manage your emotions through the S.T.O.P technique
S – Step back
T – Take a breath (breathe in for 3, hold for 3, out for 3)
O – Observe the situation – what am I feeling? Where do I feel this in my body?
P – Pull-in perspective – what is this emotion trying to communicate to me? How can I help myself to move forward?
In closing always remember:
It is normal to feel a range of emotions
It is okay for you to feel more than one at one time
You’re entitled to have some space to process
No one (and we mean no one) is ever happy 100% of the time – as much as social media would lead you to believe.
Thank you for reading!
