Help! I have Post-Lockdown Social Anxiety
Over the past year, I have seen a significant rise in social anxiety following the final lifting of ongoing lockdowns. Reengaging in office workspaces, weddings and social engagements has left us anxious and exhausted. Our social batteries perhaps aren’t what they were in 2020 and we may have noticed pangs of anxiety in social situations.
What is Social Anxiety?
When we hear 'social anxiety' we often associate it with someone shy or awkward. In reality, you can come across as confident and still have social anxiety. Social anxiety isn’t about how you come across in a social setting but more about how you feel around others. Do you find yourself fortune telling how an event is going to go? Do you worry about gaps or silences in conversations? Or even visualise how awkward you will feel walking into a room full of people? These are all common social anxiety cognitions. What we need post-COVID is a mental reset in how we approach and reengage comfortably in society.
How can I give myself a social reset?
Firstly it is helpful to pick up your ‘timeline’. Social anxiety often holds a timeline – what are you thinking before an event, what are you focusing on during and your perception post-event?
Questions for you to reflect on:
What do I usually predict will happen before going somewhere?
When I am in social situations where is my focus?
After an event what do I usually start to highlight or focus on?
Flipping the reset switch
Below are some tools and techniques to adopt into your ‘new’ timeline
Before the event – employ our B.W.R technique (Best, worst, realistic) – what is the best-case scenario? What would be the worst-case scenario? However, based on fact, what would be the most realistic outcome? Write these down.
During the event – flip self-focus to situation focus. Social anxiety forces us to turn inwards which can raise our anxiety further. Click from self-focus to situation-focus by paying attention to the conversation you’re having, and what’s in the room (even take a mental list of things you see in the room).
After the event – reflect on what went well and if there is anything you would do differently next time. Compare what happened at the event compared to your worst-case scenario predictions.
Making these suitable changes helps us to reset common social anxiety pitfalls and helps us to reengage in enjoyable social situations. Please remember it has been extremely difficult for us to be isolated from society for nearly 2 years and then to suddenly be met with an overwhelming list of social engagements. Take your time and go at your own pace.
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